8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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