She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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