Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
