maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
