I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
