...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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