They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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