Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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