she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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