I hate your face
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
