I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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