Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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