Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
