I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
