i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
