I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Randomize
