Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
