What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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