so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
