"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
