Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
