Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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