Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
