Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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