I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
