with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
