Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
