i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
