your thong is hanging out like whoa
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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