1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
