if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
