Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
