summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
