Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
