So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
