I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
