He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
