Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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