It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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