Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
