Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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