You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
