I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just want nice things and good sex
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
