I wish I could punch you in the face.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
