great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
