I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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