Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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