I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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