I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
