so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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