# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
