Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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