Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
