I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize