walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
