I wish I could teleport
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize